I was recently discussing my theories on the Israeli workweek with a friend, and I thought to myself: this is so genius, I need to write it down.

I’ve been living in Israel for a year and a half. There are certain things that I enjoy, and others that I am still having a hard time getting used to. One of the struggles is the Israeli workweek.

In Israel the week starts on Sunday and ends on Thursday. My mind had been conditioned for twenty-five years to believe that the week starts on Monday and ends on Friday. The difference between the two systems causes me a lot of internal conflict. This is what each day of the Israeli week feels like to me:

Sunday - Obviously this feels like Monday. It’s the first day of the week.

Monday - At this point, the realization has dawned on me that the weeks work differently here. So this feels like Monday. Again.

Tuesday - Everything is right with the world. Tuesday feels like Tuesday.

Wednesday - Smooth sailing. Wednesday feels like Wednesday.

Thursday - Things start getting wonky again. This is the last day of the workweek. The last day of the workweek needs to be a Friday. Therefore, this is a Friday.

Friday - Does this feel like Saturday? Of course not! This day has a Shabbat dinner, which is a sort of North star pointing out that this day is, in fact, Friday.

Saturday - Back to the regular schedule. Saturday is Saturday.

To summarize, instead of the week being:

Sunday-Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday-Saturday

It becomes:

Monday-Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday-Friday-Saturday

You might have realized that the week is missing two days. My concept of the Israel week is missing Thursdays and Sundays. I think they were taken from me when I passed through customs, and will be returned to me whenever I leave.

But Elliot, you might say, it’s been over a year. Surely you are used to the way the week works by now?

I am not. Every week I am surprised by the interminable Mondays, and dismayed to find out that all that remains of a weekend is Saturday.